London Lessons Learnt- B.O, toilets, tubes and outfit malfunctions

Hello everybody! I’m currently on the train home 😦 so I’m gonna blog all about the lessons I have learnt. I absolutely love London- it’s my favourite place to go. In the world. I bought this as a treat for Jacks birthday and I have learnt a few lessons in my little 3 day trip!

Here goes!

1. The tube- it has to be said- some people are truly disgusting. Lessons learnt: people don’t always brush teeth or put deodorant on. So steer clear of the hand rails near them #saveyourself.

2. With the air circulations on tubes… farts linger. Like when was it ever ok to fart on public transport?

3. NEVER cross when the funky green man on the traffic light isn’t there. Totally not worth it. It’s not just the traffic (who quite frankly have the right to beep at any dumb-butt crossing early), but it’s sassy taxi drivers, buses cutting the corners and those speedy bikes that people don’t seem to check for before crossing. Lesson learnt- be good and wait.

4. Sometimes people don’t smile as much, especially in shops. Lesson: smile at them anyway- maybe they can be converted to smilers. Like me- I’m an over smiler, talker and giggler.

5. Carry smaller change than 50p- the toilets are sometimes less. Today I had to negotiate my way into the ladies- I was literally overpaying, a whole 20p (that’s almost a double wee!). Eventually the dude let me in with my 50p- so lesson- carry 20p’s and less!

6. People look like they’re constantly talking to themselves. I mean there is the odd lunatic who genuinely is talking to him/herself. But Skype, FaceTime and phone calls can totally make people look slightly bonkers. Lesson learnt- don’t answer them, they’re not talking to you. They don’t wanna know how your day was or what you’re having for dinner. They’re talking to their wife.

7. Try and walk as much as you can, lesson number 7. Not only is it good for you, it’s sometimes nicer than the tube, especially in rush hour! The tube can be like an unpleasant sauna. I do like the tube, it’s quick and easy, but there ain’t no denying it- aircon would be lush.

8. Don’t wear Jumpsuits- I did this today. Rooky mistake. Getting out of one of these things (once you’ve negotiated your way into the loos!!) is like friggin jigsaw. A very hard jigsaw. We’ve all been there- trying not to get your trousers on the floor (for obvious reasons- ew), but also trying not to succumb to the overwhelming (completely uncharacteristic) sense of chlostrophobia in the tiny, smelly cubical. Even worse when you have a queue of people waiting. They can hear the thudding of your arm on the side of the cubical as you battle your way out of the “cute” death trap we all call jumpsuits. Gals- stick to trousers. It ain’t worth it.

9. Lesson 9: let’s all man up! Flush the god damn toilet. I love how we all stand in queue and someone says “ooh don’t go in there- it’s not pleasant”. This happened today. So there were 7 of us in a queue, in a very warm Starbucks, for one cubical. We all listen to Sheila at the front of the queue. As it got to 15 minutes of me waiting in queue I started getting a lil ticked off to say the least. So I ventured into the “unpleasant toilet”. I walked in. I tutted- I flushed. I walked in hopeful. I walked out a hero.

10. Lesson 10- don’t get involved. I admit it. I’m the reason the Starbucks on Oxford Street flooded. I shouldn’t have flushed it. I left after that. I should have listened to Sheila.

Hope this is relatable and interesting to read!

Bee xoxox

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