Things I think in the Gym

1. Forgot my earphones. Again.
2. Every girl in Leamington is in this gym tonight. Crikey.
3. It stinks.
4. Why are there never any treadmills?! Bike it is.
5. Why do gyms place random mirrors around? It’s actually so off putting watching myself cycle. Like, is that what I look like?!
6. How have I only been on this machine for 12 minutes and 34 seconds?!
7. Wow she looks pretty glam for the gym. I look like a potato.
8. Ooh KUWTK is on!
9. Now I feel even more like a potato.
10. I am going to channel this potato-ness.
11. I cannot wait for my Deliveroo later, eek!
12. This has been on my mind all day. During my seminar this morning, my stomach rumbled and sounded like a fart. But I swear it wasn’t.
13. A girl just hopped on the bike next to me and it feels like a passive aggressive race. It’s on.
14. Oop, just made eye contact, now it’s just uncomfortable.
15. The news is so depressing.
16. I probably don’t need to eat deliveroo and cake… but I shall!
17. What if everyone thought it was a fart?
18. Oh my gosh, the word fart comes with this emoji: 💨
19. This has me in stitches. I look like even more of a loon chuckling away to myself in the gym.
20. I want to go on a mat but they’re all taken.
21. The news just showed those creepy ass robots- do they freak anyone else out?!
22. I’ve never looked at the ceiling in the gym before.
23. Hey! Someone has just left their water bottle on the matt  while they go on another machine. Not the rules of the gym gal. Nu-uh.
24. Guess my legs are going to be super worked out after this!
25. I can’t feel my butt.
26. I wonder if I can move the water bottle.
27. Nope, I’m not bad ass enough and confrontation makes me clammy.
28. The news reporter looks like a young version of Will Smith.
29. Yay, I got a mat! Had to sprint to get it, but looking eager in the gym isn’t the worst thing in the world!
30. Never know where to look when I do hand weights. Like, I don’t want to look at myself in the mirror, because people might think I’m thinking ‘phwoar’ which certainly isn’t the case.
31. Looking at your arms while you do weights is impossible.
32. I found a nail in the wall. That’s where I’m looking.
33. Just had a panic, thought my trousers split. How embarrassing would that be?!
34. Doooooone.
35. I need food in my belly.

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