Long time no speak mon amigos,
I have recently been inspired by a blog post I saw written by Petite Elliee, named “A Bit Of An Identity Crisis”, and I decided I would create a ~reflective~ blog post myself. A lot has changed over the last 4, almost 5, years of having this little corner of the web, and so have I.
When I started my blog I was an 18 year old Fresher, feeling lost, alone and like I was somehow failing at University because it wasn’t living up to its “time of your life” reputation. I was miserably home sick and stumbled across a University blog that made me feel less alone and a lot more “normal”.
Anywho, I started out publishing my weekly University food shop and “Dear Diary” style life updates that felt cathartic and I genuinely enjoyed it.
More recently, I have been in a real rut. I thought it would last a month or two, but I have been struggling to create content I love for about a year now.
The minute I left University I felt like I’d lost my niche.
I never struggled for inspiration while I was at Uni because I always had plenty going on and had usually done something goofy that I could write about from an attempting-to-adult-but-failing angle.
Though unintentional, I had stumbled into a university lifestyle niche and I loved it. I genuinely loved writing new content.
Since leaving University I have really struggled because I don’t really know what I’m doing anymore.
Which has effected my niche (I have over-used the word niche and it now sounds foreign to my ears) I don’t know what “type” of blogger I am and I don’t really like the idea of squeezing myself into this “niche” that I don’t fit into…
I don’t really know what to write about because I don’t really know what I’m doing anymore. Honest truth. And I feel like I’m failing.
When I was at University, I knew the goal was to finish with a 2.1 – that was my mission. Anything in-between that was just fun – my blog, my friendships, my extracurricular activities (pfft who am I kidding, I basically drank coffee and went to the gym – that was my “extra curricular activities”).
I’ve figured out that I write my best content when I’m happy.
After graduation my life went a lil bit tits up, to say the least. I was in a job I loved, then got made redundant, I then got another job and was made to feel utterly pants for 6 months… I wasn’t my happiest.
During that time, I had a lil bit of an identity crisis – I didn’t know what I was doing, I didn’t know which direction my life was going in and I was starting to think that Marketing wasn’t for me. I didn’t know what to write about because I was living for the weekend and I was desperate to save enough to quit.
I had lost my mojo, as my dear friend Austin Powers would say. I was no longer a University Blogger and I had lost my motivation to create inspirational Blogger content because, heck, I was not feeling inspired. These had been the two main approaches I had taken for my blog during University.
What I’ve realised is that trying to squeeeeesh myself into this Blogger niche (that everyone seems to bang on about being so important to success) does not work for me, because I am ever-changing myself.
I am no longer a University Blogger, I’m not really a Graduate Blogger either… I’m just someone who likes to talk about girl power, failed attempts at “adult-ing” (in the non marriage-wrecking way) and what I’m doing day to day. I like fashion, food and lifestyle blogging too, but I do not entirely fit into any of those categories.
In Petite Ellie’s blog she talks about making her blog a “Magazine of Life” and I think I need to think of it that way too.
I’m not the home sick Fresher that started A Bee’s World, I’m not the University go-er living in coffee shops, nor am I the unhappy chappy from last year in a job I resented.
I am one of many, many people just trying to navigate their way through their twenties – I mean our twenties are meant to be so many things; you have the potential to travel, meet new people, start careers, move out, meet the one, have a freakin mortgage and maybe even have babies – I mean that’s a lot of pressure on one decade!
The amount of times I have had a plan and it’s just fallen to pieces has shown me I need to let go of the plan and just go with it. I’m striving for happiness and I’m going to write about how I’m finding it.
So welcome to my Magazine of Life!
It’s a bit messy and a little bit of everything – for I do not fit into niches very well.
Bee
xoxo
Written – 23rd October 2019.
Utterly Bee 